Dazed and Confused
by JimmythePage
Summary: Starts when Harry is four years old. Harry grows up abused and neglected, and his only escape is to a mysterious mans music store. However, when he finds Voldemorts soul inside him, he changes... SUPER DARK HARRY, HAREM, AND LEMON IN LATER CHAPTERS.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello Reader Peoples! This is my first fic, so I hope that I don't suck too much. This will definitely be a Dark Harry fic, probably Harry/Tonks, possibly a harem. This is rated M for usual reasons, standard canon beginning, but it starts when Harry is 4 years old. So no super powered Lily that was actually a servant of the dark lord, because frankly, that's a load of crap and completely overused as a plot basis. I will be trying to make this as original as possible, mostly cause I hate all the clichéd shit that most amateurs write. **

**The basic plot is Harry Potter grows up abused and hated, and builds up a high pain tolerance and a cold exterior. His only friend is a music store owner named Mr. Page. He ends up absorbing Voldemorts soul piece at age 9 and gets most of his powers. Voldemort will not be the main villain, Dumbledore will, as well as an OC that will not enter until much later. Harry will meet a young Tonks who will introduce him to the Black family which will build a base for his inner circle. After that is anybody's guess, I haven't thought that far ahead, except that Harry will be completely invincible except for a couple of duels.**

**So anyway, there will be abuse, violence, new spells, necromancy, blood and soul magic, animaguses, Dumbledore and some Weasley bashing, cold, DARK Harry, not the slightly cool but really caring Harry, but a dark, abusive, arrogant, destructive to everyone he doesn't have a "connection" with (will be explained later) Harry who is totally badass with powers that no one has seen before. So… on to…**

**DAZED AND CONFUSED **

**Chapter 1: The Early Years **

Harry woke up in his not so cramped cupboard on a Saturday morning, to the sound of his slightly older, five year old cousin Dudley stomping down the stairs with his large beefy legs threatening to crack each step they landed on. Harry suppressed a groan and scampered out of his cupboard as quickly as he could. If he woke up after Dudley, he knew that he would be punished for being a lazy ass bum, as his uncle so elegantly put it.

Despite his quickness, Harry knew he was in trouble when he saw Dudley pass him up, and his uncle Vernon coming out of the kitchen, brandishing his favorite belt.

"BOY! I DIDN'T TAKE YOU IN AT MY OWN EXPENSE JUST SO YOU COULD SLEEP IN UNTIL… He paused and looked at the clock… SIX FUCKING THIRTY IN THE GODDAMNED MORNING!"

Harry, being the innocent little four year old that he was said, "But uncle, why doesn't Dudley get punished?"

Vernon's face went through his personal color wheel of anger; pink, red, maroon, purple, whoa that blue is new, Harry thought, but that was right before Vernon's belt flew across and hit Harry in the face. Harry cried out and fell to the floor, clutching his face. Vernon was still breathing heavily and said to Dudley, "Help me teach this TRASH a lesson!" As the larger Dursleys began completely wail on the frail green eyed boy, and as Petunia came in from the bathroom and started mocking the bruised boy, Harry decided to lock away his innocence, it seemed that it wasn't needed here.

2 years later

A visibly more battered and gaunt Harry Potter stepped out of his broom cupboard at three in the morning. He had only gotten four hours of sleep, but the tingly feeling always helped him with the exhaustion that made up his existence. His life had begun to fall into a steady routine of pain and pleasure. The pleasure came from the two hours of free time that he had until Vernon had to get to work. He used this time to run and explore his small town of Little Whinging, where he had found a music store that he loved to visit. The manager, a Mr. Page, had apparently been a huge rock star in the seventies, but now he owned a small guitar store serving people who loved music. Harry could still remember the time he met Mr. Page...

_**Flashback 1 year ago**_

Harry stared longingly into the small shop on the corner of Peter and Grant street, as a tall man with shoulder length black, curly hair tapped him on the shoulder. Harry gasped as he turned around.

"You know, child, it was here in Surrey where I played my first guitar, I guess that's why I wanted the shop to be here, not in London where I could have made a lot more money."

Harry quickly gained his composure, after all, any display of emotion was a weakness that anyone could prey on. He calmly said, "I am sorry sir, for loitering outside your shop. I was interested in the instruments in there."

The man stared for a moment, no five year old should be so polite, so calm. He looked at the child closely and saw the baggy clothes and the thin figure of the small boy, but was totally stricken by his green eyes. "Don't call me sir, kid, it makes me sound like a fucking geezer. I don't usually open at four in the morning, but you look like you could use some food or something. It must suck being homeless."

Harry was taken aback, but on the outside maintained his stony indifference. No one had ever shown him this compassion before, even if he worded said compassion a little bluntly. Deciding to play up his new "homeless" role, he nodded quietly, and followed the man into the store. Followed and gasped in astonishment.

Rows and rows of guitars, basses lined up in perfect condition, completely filling every wall space, every floor that wasn't needed to actually move around was filled with guitar stands, holding more beautiful treasures. As Harry openly gaped at his surroundings, the man looked at him with amusement. He went into the back room and came out with two bowls of oatmeal a couple of moments later. Harry was rooted to the same spot.

"Like what you see?"

Harry was startled out of his silent reverie of the instruments and glanced up at the man. "This is what you actually do for a living? You get to spend most of your day around such…such…"

"Relics? Treasure? Beautiful sounds coming together to make absolute perfection? Hell yeah, wouldn't have it any other way." The man looked at Harry expectantly. "My name is Mr. Page."

"My name is… James Miller." The alias was something that Harry came up with several weeks previously, after discovering a letter from a man named Director Ragnok talking about money stuff that he didn't understand, but he saw his full name. Harry James Potter.

_**Exit Flashback**_

It was since discovered that Harry was a guitar prodigy, able to play anything that he heard. Mr. Page described his playing as absolutely fucking magical. Harry walked into the front yard to start his morning routine. He ran the 8 miles to Mr. Pages guitar shop but stopped cold. He saw smoke, he smelled smoke, and he could taste smoke. But what he heard would play over and over again in his nightmares for years. The sound of a roaring flame, strings popping, wood falling over and burning, and a man screaming. Harry quickly saw red and his anger and terror was let out in a single heart wrenching, terrifying scream of rage, as a visible wave of golden energy shot from his body.

Hundreds of miles away, Albus Dumbledore sat in his chair enjoying the sight of his minions bickering over some matter of minor importance. He didn't care what it was, but he would spew out some "I believe that you will do what's best, Minerva," shit that he always did, and they would be even more indebted to him. However this is before several of his silver instruments exploded, indicating, quite impossibly, that Harry Potter was not being Traced anymore, nor were any of the tracking charms Albus placed functioning.

There were only three explanations: One, Harry was dead. Albus immediately dismissed this idea, because he had ordered all wizards not to have any contact with his weapon. The second option was quickly thrown out as well, because it wasn't possible that Harry could have overpowered the enchantments of the most powerful man on earth. So the only possible option was that the instruments had malfunctioned.

The only problem was that Albus had absolutely no way of getting in touch with Harry without drawing any suspicion. He wanted his pawn to be as ignorant and gullible as possible when he first walked into Hogwarts. Albus dismissed the problem as inconsequential, as Fate was always on his side. After all he is the Lord of the Light, the Phoenix King.

In the back of the room, a phoenix keened in sadness, and disappeared in a flash of flame.

As the golden light hit the burning guitar shop, the flames were put out, the guitars were repaired, and Mr. Page completely healed. He stared in pure shock and amazement out the window, as he saw his protégé, his eyes glowing green, snarl on his face. Which soon faded as Harry fell to the ground, completely exhausted. Mr. Page hurried out, gathered Harry in his arms, and took him inside.

Harry woke up in a haze, not able to see clearly. My glasses aren't on, he realized. How long have I been out. He was shaken when he heard a voice.

"What the hell are you, James?" Harry glanced up towards his mentor and sighed.

"I have no idea."

_**3 Years Later**_

"NEVER…EVER...EVER…MENTION….THAT…FOUL…WORD…AGAIN!" Vernon accentuated each word with a massive blow with his fists. Harry already had broken each arm, seven ribs, his collar bone, and his right ankle, but Vernon just wouldn't stop.

Harry was slowly discovering that he wasn't normal at all. He could unlock doors, make things fly, talk to snakes, and apparently, shoot fire. This landed him in his current situation. Nine year old Harry had been playing with his flaming fingers, when Dudley found him. The 250 pound behemoth then summoned his 400 pound father, who proceeded to beat Harry senseless. Unfortunately for the large man, Harry had been beaten so many times that his pain tolerance that was so high it would make the guys in the Iron Maiden contests look like little girls asking for a boo boo for the scrape on their knees.

Harry had explained his little feat with the "M" word, which he soon learned was forbidden. The only thing was that even Harry's pain tolerance was starting to give, as another ginormous fist destroyed his left leg. Harry was starting to lose consciousness when he started feeling a tingly feeling. He automatically followed it as it traveled throughout his body, seeming to warm everything it touched.

He followed the feeling back into his mind, and blacked out.

He awoke to the chilling sound of dark laughter, coming from every direction. He was in a large room, with a great big shivering ball in the middle. The ball was completely golden, except for a small pitch black seeming to feed off the golden ball. A figure walked out of the black patch, laughing continuously in the same chilling tones.

He had dark hair, dark green eyes, and skin paler than alabaster. It's me…. Harry thought.

The dark Harry looked down at the prone Harry lying on the floor, and reached a hand towards the scar on the boys forehead. Harry could immediately feel the essence filling his mind, and a pleasure unlike any other he had ever felt flowed through his body. Harry was lost in passion, not feeling anything else, as the dark presence started taking over.

Harry automatically reacted. Rage screamed out of his every pore, demanding vengeance for the actions of his evil self. He automatically forced the presence from his mind, and then blocked it with iron strands of pure willpower, creating a perfect dome around the boy's mind.

He regained control of his dream world, and attacked the surprised dark entity with all of his strength. The Evil Harry recoiled in shock as dark yellow energy surrounded the original, slowly getting darker, stealing energy from the dark pretender. The Evil Harry's power weakened, showing his true face, red eyes, slits for a nose, and a high, screeching scream. Decades of memories and knowledge flowed through Harry's head, and somehow, he comprehended all of it. He discarded most of the memories automatically, only keeping the ones that he learned from. Knowledge of dark magic was sent into Harry's brain, storing it in a space Harry had no idea existed.

So its magic I can do. With magic, I can use anyone, kill everyone, and do whatever I want. I will always protect Mr. Page, though. Anyone who comes in my way will be destroyed, anyone who joins me will be rewarded, and anyone who tries to change me… They've got another thing coming.

**So, love it? Hate it? I appreciate any advice and criticisms, I'm fine with flaming, because, honestly, I only want to beta stories, and this is going to be a side project once I can actually beta stuff. I hope people actually know what I'm talking about with the characters and stuff, but if you don't, shame on you because you are absolutely musically retarded. Anyway, tell me if you like this idea, because I've got like 10 other story ideas in my head. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the long ass wait. I promise that I usually won't take this long, its just that I have a lot of shit to do at school. So here's the next chapter.**

**Chapter 2: Talkin' Bout Freedom!...**

Harry awoke in his cupboard, feeling better than he had in years… literally. His ever-present dark rings around his eyes were gone, his never-ending exhaustion had, well, ended. His brain held the knowledge of how to do almost every spell, every ritual, every curse that Voldemort had learned while he was alive. Oh yes, Harry knew about Voldemort, and he also knew about the manipulations of the old bastard Dumbledore. He would pay, but right now he wasn't the main man on Harry's shit list. That man, was a Mr. Vernon Dursley.

Harry tried to open his cupboard door, and found it was locked. Drawing on his memories, he whispered _"Alohamora," _then confidently pushed on the door… Only to bump his head on the small doorframe.

Swearing under his breath, he realized that even if he knew **how** to do all the spells that Voldemort knew how to do, his body wasn't used to pushing out the magic needed, so he was still pretty magically impotent. That didn't mean he couldn't learn, but he didn't have unlimited power at his fingers just yet. Cursing under his breath, he went into his mind and reached the large ball of magical power in the center. However, the ball wasn't golden yellow anymore; it was a dark green, almost black. Surprised, he reached into the magic, and felt pure power rush through his veins.

Harry laughed as adrenaline and energy engulfed him, and he subconsciously pushed his magic out towards the door. Now Harry was expecting the door to unlock, or maybe just blow off its hinges, but Harry Potter didn't do anything half-assed. The door literally exploded outwards, blowing bits into the wall in front of it, and also startling the unsuspecting family eating in the dining room.

Vernon sat at the head of the table, face pale with blotchy red marks all over his skin, a sausage hanging comically from his mouth. His eyes were wide, terrified at the sight of his nephew. 'Oh shit…' he thought.

Harry didn't have a mirror in his cupboard (every extra mirror in the house was in the ceiling of the guest room, as Petunia liked to look at herself while she… uh, you get the idea), so Harry didn't know how terrifying he looked.

His hair was whipping around in a non-existent wind, his eyes shining with murderous intent. His dark green magic was shrouding him and moving without conscious thought. Harry's face was a cold mask of stony indifference, only his eyes gave away how angry he was. Basically, he looked as terrifying as a nine year old could be.

He walked slowly towards the dining room table, his magic shroud swirling around him. He reached the table and stopped. He looked up at his hated family, and a look of pure hatred came upon his face. At this point, Dudley had wet his pants, Petunia looked like she was about to be raped, and Vernon looked like a walrus who had been dumped in a pool of white paint. Harry gazed at his uncle, and contemplated whether he should kill him or not, and Vernon, somehow knowing what was going through his nephews head, just waited in terrified resignation.

Harry made his decision, and looked in his uncle's eyes, and sent out a destructive mind probe. He felt the whale-sized man's surprise, and anger, but Vernon could not do anything about his mind rape. Harry mercilessly found and destroyed everything that made Vernon feel happiness. He blocked off the pleasure of his uncle's brain, so that despite everything Vernon did, he would never be happy again. He relentlessly tore into his uncle's mind and stripped every ounce of free will from him. Vernon was essentially Harry's slave.

Next, Harry tore into his Aunt and Cousin's mind, doing the same to them, until he stood in front of them, and they looked at him with disturbingly blank faces. Harry's family was now ready to be programed.

Harry cleared his throat, "Now, you fat sacks of shit, I have some ground rules. One: you will do everything I say, when I say it. No exceptions, no negotiations. Two: if you do not do what I say, I will force you to commit suicide, which I can do perfectly easily. Finally, do this as quickly as possible and you will never see me again, and I might even release you. Understand?"

Three voices droned out to him; "Yes, Master."

Harry smirked, "Good. Now you three miserable piles of filth, get in the car. You're going to buy me an apartment."

(DAC)

Dumbledore stumbled out of the muggle motel, finished with his "business." He didn't care about the underage muggle girl he had just raped using magic, as long his needs were satisfied. **(That's right; I'm going all the way and making Dumbledore completely evil)**. He apparated to Hogsmeade and walked towards Hogwarts. When he got to his office, he saw several silver instruments twirling about. His eyes widened in realization. The wards around his tools house had gone down, he had absolutely no idea where the young sacrificial lamb was.

This was the reason why he had not been too concerned when the other wards around Harry had gone down. Harry still had the blood wards around his house that would suck his magic, keeping him from getting too magically powerful. Dumbledore raged around his office, screaming curse words at the top of his lungs. He tried to locate Harry, but the boy seemed to have protective wards around him, and the tracking charm Dumbledore had put on him was destroyed. Almost ten years of planning was ruined, just because some weapons didn't know their places.

Fawkes sang mournfully, and Dumbledore shook his head angrily. The bird had gotten on his nerves lately, and the phoenix had been spending less and less time at his office. "Maybe he's dying," said Dumbledore. "With him gone I won't be able to do more experiments with his feathers and tears. What a shame."

Fawkes squawked indignantly and disappeared into a burst of flame.

(DAC)

Harry inspected the apartment that his uncle had bought him. Now that his anger and magic had worn off, he looked like a normal nine year old. His apartment was

small, but not too small, because he would be the only one living there. There was a small living room, a cramped kitchen, a bedroom, and a bathroom. Satisfied at the moment, Harry turned to his relatives. "Drive me to the forest, and be quick about it."

On the drive, Harry observed his relatives. They all still had blank looks, but that was about to change and Harry couldn't wait. The pulled up into a campground in the forest, and Harry ordered his relatives out. Once they were out in the wilderness, Harry plunged into their minds, undoing all the damage he had caused. He wanted them to be able to scream when he was done. After knocking them out, he began to set up his plan.

Vernon looked around confusedly. He had no idea where he was. There were trees around him, and he looked like he was in a forest of some sort. He walked around for about an hour, but ended up in the same place in which he started. He screamed, "Where the hell am I?"

"You could have just asked, you know." Vernon turned around at the sound of a voice. He gasped in shock. His nephew was standing there, looking completely normal. Vernon bellowed in rage and charged the young boy.

Harry saw him coming from a mile away and nimbly sidestepped. He reached into his mind, drawing out his magic. 'Damn it, it shouldn't take this long. I need to practice more.' Nevertheless, his effort was rewarded when he went into his green cloak form. Vernon backed away in fear, suddenly remembering the events of the last few hours.

"Y-you promised that you w-would let us g-go… YOU SAID YOU WOULD LEAVE US ALONE."

Harry walked slowly over to Vernon, a smirk gracing his lips. He leaned over, looking right into Vernon's eyes, and said with a grin. "I lied." Screams reverberated throughout the forest until morning.

(2 weeks later)

"Mr. Page, Mr. Page." Harry shouted after his friend. Harry had found himself getting closer to the man since he had saved his life. It was like he could feel what Mr. Page could feel, and they understood each other completely. He briefly wondered what brought about this change, but decided not to worry about it.

Mr. Page, about to enter his shop, turned around. "James, good to see you." It was true, Mr. Page didn't know why, but it felt like he was greeting his own son. Harry ran up to him and they entered the shop together. Harry wanted to talk to his mentor about something, but he had no idea where to start. He was unused to actually caring for someone else, and it was odd. He didn't want Mr. Page to hate him, because he felt like he would completely break if that happened.

"Mr. Page, I can be completely honest with you, right?"

Mr. Page looked startled. The boy was usually quiet, but strong, never letting his emotions show. This was one of the first times Harry expressed any doubt whatsoever. "Of course James, what's on your mind?"

Harry proceeded to tell Mr. Page everything he knew about his life and magic. He told the man everything, his real name, how he had been beaten, how he had discovered everything, and explaining that magic was how he saved Mr. Page's life. He told him everything except for the part about killing his family, saying he had just "got fed up and ran away."

Mr. Page was skeptical at first, but when Harry got into his magic shroud form, Mr. Page was rendered speechless. He regarded the young boy with shock, but he didn't hate Harry at all. In fact, after Harry was done, he gathered the young boy in his arms and gave him a hug.

Harry stiffened from the contact at first, the only time anyone had ever touched him was to harm him, but he eventually relaxed into the hug, letting his mask crack for the first time in years. He cried into his mentor's shoulder, finally letting someone help him.

Hours later, Harry was asleep completely emotionally exhausted. Mr. Page watched him with a smile, glad that he had finally opened up.

(DAC)

(6 months later)

"Mr. Page, how do you play that one song you made up, Kashmir?" Harry had a dark red 1965 Gibson SG in his hands, struggling over a chord progression. The chords sounded right, but somehow wrong.

"You have to change the tuning. Drop the E to a D, the B to an A, and the little E to another D. This tuning is called DADGAD, and it is inspired by the sound of a sitar." As Mr. Page was explaining, he thought about the last six months. Despite the time they spent together, Harry still called his mentor Mr. Page. He had put in some adoption papers for custody over Harry, which had been accepted. Harry was now legally his son.

Harry had been ecstatic when he found out, but Mr. Page still worried about how Harry treated other people. Though he had finally opened up to his adoptive father, he remained cold and distant to other people. Though he was able to stay cordial while dealing with a customer, he was like a block of stone to everybody else. Sometimes he would get letters from a place called Gringotts, and a look of pure rage would come over his face, until it was replaced by cold indifference. However this was a huge improvement over how Harry used to act.

The sounds of a perfect rendition of "Kashmir" shook Mr. Page out of his thoughts. The boy was amazing at the guitar. Mr. Page looked up at Harry, "Very good, now here's the bridge…"

After Harry had learned and perfected the song, he spoke to his father. "Mr. Page, could you take me to London. Some of _his_ memories show that it would be extremely beneficial to explore Diagon Alley."

"What are you going to do there?" Mr. Page asked.

"Go to the bank. There are a couple of rituals there that could be useful to find out my abilities." Harry had progressed to the point where he could draw upon the magic at will, though he still had trouble with actual spells. He couldn't find anything in Voldemort's memories that explained Harry's unparalleled use of wandless magic.

"Alright, we'll leave tomorrow. Do you think I can go with you? I'm curious about, er, magical culture."

Harry laughed. "You just want to find a magical music shop to see if they have anything cool."

Mr. Page backed up defensively. "Hey, don't knock my passion! You're just a 3 year musician with other interests. Music has been my life for like 30 years!"

Harry just laughed and went to help a customer.

(DAC)

"Jesus Fucking Christ!" several mothers with their children glared at Mr. Page.

"Father, it's probably not to say any bad words in front of children," said Harry, disguised by his magic to look like a blond haired, blue eyed child.

"What would you define as a 'bad word?'" said Mr. Page. "And since when did you start calling me father?"

"Well bad words are…" Harry took a deep breath, "Ass, asshole, bitch, buttrape, cunt, fuck, motherfucker, shit, bastard, rape dungeon…" Said mothers started yelling at the pair to shut up. Harry and his adoptive father just laughed.

"You never answered the second question."

"Well you are my father, right?" Mr. Page just shrugged and went with it, and started to pay attention to his surroundings. It was a large street, filled with people and hundreds of shops. There had to be at least one music shop in this huge place. And then there's the fact that this place was inside a fucking bar!

"We have to go to the bank, father. Father… FATHER!" Mr. Page snapped out of it and followed Harry to the huge building in the middle of the alley. Harry walked up the steps and bowed to the goblin guards. He had a memory of Voldemort's, which showed a book full on Goblin etiquette and language. Harry, who had an affinity to learning new languages, recited in perfect Gobbledegook, "Good morning. May your accounts multiply and your families prosper."

The goblins stared in shock as Harry walked past them into the massive bank. The tellers, who had watched this, watched the young boy as he approached their booths. They had never, ever heard of a young boy knowing Gobbledegook or Goblin etiquette.

Still in the goblin tongue, Harry said, "I request an appointment with the Senior Accounts Manager of the Potter Vaults. I would like to access my hereditary right to my family vault."

The teller looked at him for a moment, then said, "You are not the heir of the Potter family. Though I admire your respect for our culture, the fact that you try to break our laws by accessing someone else's vault devalues any respect that we had for you. Now get out!"

"What are you talking…" Harry stopped. Wordlessly he dropped the magic around him, much to the Goblin's shock.

"I am sorry, Mr. Potter. Please come with me to see the director." The boy was a warlock! There hadn't been one in over a thousand years. Director Ragnok needed to hear of this immediately.

Harry narrowed his eyes. Something wasn't right. Surely he wouldn't see the director if something wasn't up. However he followed the goblin across the hall, with Mr. Page behind, staring in shock at Harry's grasp of the goblin tongue.

After ascending many floors in the giant bank, Harry found himself in front of a huge door, and the goblin in front of him escorted him inside. There was a large round table, with fifteen goblin representatives. Directly across from the door, a larger than normal goblin sat on a huge gold throne, reading a report. The goblin, whom Harry had realized was the director, wore set of silver armor, and a huge battle-axe leaned against his throne.

He looked at the goblin and spoke in rapid Gobbledegook, "Griphook, why have you brought this human in my presence?"

Harry bristled at the implied insult and spoke before anyone could stop him. "Director Ragnok, may your gold multiply and your enemies fall by your axe." All fifteen representatives and the director looked at the boy in shock.

Ragnok, in his 300 years on this earth, had never heard a human so young speak such perfect Gobbledegook. That and the boy was bold enough to address him. The child immediately gained a little of Ragnok's respect. However, there was still a small test to give the boy. "You dare address me, little human? You realize that I could have you killed right now?"

Harry glared back. "With all due respect, _Director_, I believe that respect is earned, not immediately gained by money or power. You have done nothing to earn my respect, so why should I treat you differently?"

Fifteen goblins pulled out various weapons at once and glared at the boy, and Ragnok stared at the boy in silence. 'He passes,' Ragnok barked out laughter. "Boy, you are the first human to earn my respect in over a hundred years! Now why are you here young Gobblerah?" All goblins in the room gasped and sheathed their weapons. No one had been called a goblin friend in over a century. The fact that this human boy had earned the title was nothing short of amazing.

Ragnok looked at Griphook and asked, "Now why have you brought the young Potter here today?"

Griphook bowed, "Permission to talk to you privately, sir?"

"Permission denied. Anything about the young Potter can be said in front of him."

"Yes sir." Griphook took a deep breath. "The boy is a Warlock."

Absolute uproar. The fifteen goblin representatives started yelling at once, some saying that the boy needed to be killed, some said he needed to be brought to their side. Ragnok, however, stayed silent and waited for the boy's reaction. He wasn't disappointed.

Harry's eyes narrowed as he got angry. His magic came up involuntarily as it formed its customary shroud. Dark green magic pulsed from him, his eyes shown with power, and his hair flew in a nonexistent wind. "ENOUGH!" All fifteen voices shut up in this display of power.

Ragnok stared in shock. He had actually accessed Merlin's shroud, and he was only nine years old. That's when he decided that the boy would have the full support of the Goblin Empire.

"Calm boy. We are not here to harm you. I give you my word as Director of Gringotts and Goblin King that you shall not be harmed under our watch. I have an idea of what you want, so let me escort you to your family vault." The director and the boy walked out of the throne room, with Mr. Page right behind.

"I am sorry for the incompetence of my representatives. They shall be fired immediately."

Harry, who had returned back to normal, said, "I too am sorry for my outburst. I've never been able to handle anger very well." Not that he really wanted to, but it's good to exercise restraint while dealing with the leader of an entire race. Anger should not be repressed, but controlled so that it may be used when the situation demands it. Like killing stupid people. Yes, that's a perfectly good reason.

Harry was jolted out of his murderous thoughts by director Ragnok. "Your family vault is one of the oldest that we have. However, you may be the heir of some other vaults based on your heritage. We will run a test immediately." They walked into a large chamber, which had the Gobbledegook runes for "Ritual Chamber."

They approached a golden bowl that was obviously used for blood rituals. Harry knew this because there were bloodstains all around the bowl. That's encouraging.

Mr. Page used this moment to speak for the first time since entering the building. "So Harry is going to have to put a drop of blood in that bowl or something?" he asked.

Ragnok roared in laughter, "A drop? What the hell are we going to do with a drop of blood? Paint one of our toenails? No, we need about a pint of blood from young Harry here, if he wants to do all the rituals that he came here for." He continued to laugh, "A drop of blood, how fucking priceless."

Mr. Page, who didn't appreciate being made fun of, said, "But that's like an eighth of the blood in his body. What can be so important to drain that much blood?"

Harry decided to reassure his adoptive father, "Hereditary ritual, skills ritual, affinity ritual, familiar ritual, and the oh so important magical power ritual. Basically what I stand to inherit, what powers I have, which school subjects I'll be good at, what type of animal should be my familiar, and how powerful I am. Happy?"

"Not really, but do I really have a choice?"

"Nope, not at all."

(1 hour later)

"JESUS MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST IT HURTS!" Harry voice reverberated throughout the ritual chamber. It turns out you can't just take out an eighth of your blood from one spot, so Ragnok had the brilliant idea of making lots of small cuts throughout Harry's body. It also didn't help that Ragnok accidentally used a poison dagger to make the incisions.

Mr. Page was currently running around in circles screaming "OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT!" as Ragnok tried to undo his damage. After Harry was finally healed, he was so pissed off at Ragnok he went into his cloak form. Suffice to say, Ragnok didn't enjoy having to tell Harry that they needed to do it again, because the blood was tainted by the poison. Several angry screams were heard throughout the bank, startling the customers.

After all the blood was collected and replenished, Harry was ready to see his results. Ragnok had a sheet of parchment in his hand, and was staring in shock. He wordlessly handed the parchment to Harry Potter.

**HARRY JAMES POTTER**

**Son of JAMES CHARLES POTTER and LILY ROSE POTTER EVANS**

**HEIR OF: POTTER, PEVERELL, GAUNT, GRINDEWALD, GRIFFINDOR, SLYTHERIN, RAVENCLAW.**

**POWERS: WARLOCK, ELEMENTAL, PARSLETONGUE, NECROMANCER, SOUL MAGE, ANIMAGUS.**

**AFFINITIES: DARK MAGIC (MERLIN), DEFENSE (PROTÉGÉ), TRANSFIGURATION (PROTÉGÉ), CHARMS (HIGH), POTIONS (HIGH), (ALSO NOTED THAT SUBJECT HAS AN EIDETIC MEMORY)**

**FAMILIAR AFFINITY: NUNDUS (MAGICAL LEOPARDS)**

**POWER LEVELS: UNREADABLE- Subject is either too magically weak or powerful to get a reading.**

**NOTES**

**WARLOCK: magical powerful being able to conjure wandless magic at will**

**ELEMENTAL: capability to have an unrivaled control of at least one element**

**PARSLETONGUE: ability to speak to snakes and use Parslemagic**

**NECROMANCER: ability to create Inferi and summon demons**

**SOUL MAGE: ability to use energy from souls, and create soul bonds with people**

**AFFINITY LEVELS:**

**MERLIN- previously unheard of levels of magical potential**

**PROTÉGÉ- extreme potential for the subject**

**HIGH- high potential for subject**

**NUNDUS: magical leopard native to the Amazon rainforest. Capable of speaking with familiar. Strong magical power.**

Harry looked at the list in shock at the power that he had. Mr. Page, who had been reading over Harry's shoulder, gazed at Harry and saw the uncertainty in his eyes, and gathered his young ward into his arms. "You are one powerful kid, kid."

Ragnok interrupted their family moment by saying, "Mr. Potter, you have access to the four largest vaults in Gringotts. Would you like me to take you to them now?"

Harry nodded dumbly, quickly gaining his composure. "Director Ragnok, I have been receiving monthly statements from your bank, and it seems that the Potter vault has been decreasing in value for the last eight years. I have reason to believe that Dumbledore has been accessing my vault without my permission. Do I have any legal recourse?"

Ragnok sighed loudly, "Unfortunately not. When your parents died, and your godfather imprisoned, Dumbledore became your magical guardian, thus he has full right to any monetary possessions in your Potter vault. However, we can keep the other vaults a secret, as he does not know about any of them. We can move all monetary assets into one of your other vaults so Dumbledore doesn't have access to your money. Thankfully he doesn't have any access to any properties or family heirlooms you might have."

Harry also sighed, "Ok, at least I have about 12.5 billion galleons in my other vaults, so I'm not destitute, and I really only care about the cool items in there."

"Good now, let us go."

All of Harry's vaults were interconnected, so there was no need to go to each vault. He entered the Potter vault to find very little money, but a vast wealth of possessions. He got a backpack with a bottomless charm on it, and started grabbing all the books that could help him. He found several books on various charms and curses, and several magical weapons, but he didn't feel connected to any of the swords, maces, or axes there, so he left them alone.

Mr. Page spotted a magical stringed instrument, but no one had any idea how to play it. He took it anyway, just as a side project.

They entered the Gryffindor vault and found it completely filled with galleons. Harry had already received a Gringotts debit card, so he didn't need any of the galleons in the vault. However, he found several books on rituals that not even Voldemort knew, and decided to take those. Ragnok gazed around in awe. He told Harry that no one had seen this vault in almost 500 years.

Ravenclaw's vault held little gold, but an absolutely huge library of books. Harry found almost a hundred books on forbidden curses, charms, and various guides to the powers that he had.

Slytherin's vault, however, impressed Harry the most out of all the founders. In the vault was a greenhouse with all of the potion ingredients known to the wizarding world, along with the personal journals of Salazar himself, detailing every potion that he had ever made. The books that were in there had thousands of pages detailing the darkest of magics, and Harry had to keep himself from staying there for a couple of years, just learning everything he wanted to know. Harry got all the books and potions ingredients that he needed, and grabbed all the books he could.

At this point, the backpack needed to be traded for a trunk, which came from Slytherin's vault, and could only be opened using parsletongue.

In Grindewald's vault, there was a vast array of weapons from all over the world. Harry immediately felt drawn to a Japanese katana and he reached for it. Ragnok noticed this and his eyes widened. "Harry wait!"

It was too late, and Harry grabbed the sword and immediately collapsed.

(DAC)

He was in his mind. Again. "Why do I always have to do battle with some entity in my mind? This is not a normal occurrence for other people, seriously!"

A very tall man wearing a red robe laughed. He had shoulder-length white hair, with yellow eyes and sharp fangs.

Harry stared at him confusedly. "Inuyasha?"

Harry saw the man (or demon) redden with anger. "GODDAMNIT WHY DOES EVERYONE CALL ME THAT?"

"Err, maybe you shouldn't wear a red robe then…"

"But it's fluffy! And soft…"

"Then don't complain. You've brought this upon yourself."

"But! You! Gah! Anyway, I'm here to test you and stuff, so you can use me," the white haired stranger said.

Harry smirked, "Sorry, I don't roll that way."

The man looked confused, "What are you talking… Oh wow, you are so cool. I bow down in honor of your amazing wit," he said sarcastically. "Give me one reason why I should allow you to wield me, mortal."

"Well for starters, I have more magical potential than anyone who has ever lived, including Merlin."

"Ohh… That's a pretty good reason. Fine, you can use me in battle. I am named Kangetsu, and I am pretty damn amazing."

"Someone is full of themselves…"

"HA! I like you kid. But seriously, I can blow shit up and I can change my shape into anything you want."

"Really sir? You weally weally mean. Oh gosh, thank you thank you," said Harry, doing his absolute best to be as sarcastic as possible.

"Good, now get the hell out."

"Umm… You're in my mind."

"GODDAMNIT!"

(DAC)

Harry woke up, and found Kangetsu in his hand. He reached out with his consciousness, and found the soul of the sword. He asked, so how do you change form?

_Well you gotta stamp your left foot twice, twirl around, and say "Pinkalicious!" What do you think, stupid ass, just concentrate on changing it and it will change. _

'I'm going to change you into a dildo and stick you up Dumbledore's ass.'

_Oh God no! Please! I'm sorry!_

Harry concentrated and found himself holding a 1959 Gibson Les Paul. Mr. Page stared in shock. "I'm so fucking proud of you right now, Harry."

Ragnok was beyond shock at this point. "Kangetsu has not had a master for two hundred years, but you know what, I'm tired of saying shit like this. This type of thing just seems to happen to you, Potter. I don't even care anymore."

Harry changed Kangetsu back, and put him on an emerald studded sword belt on his waist, and they went into the Peverell vault. There was a large cage with hundreds of eggs, each of them labeled. Ragnok saw Harry's confusion and spoke. "The last known Peverell was a magical animal tamer, and kept the eggs of almost all the magical creatures he encountered. It's worth noting that all magical creatures lay eggs. Why? I don't know, it just makes it easier for the writer to forward the plot."

Harry looked at Ragnok confusedly, and was about to say something, but was interrupted by Mr. Page. "Hey Harry, isn't this the animal that you're supposed to be familiarized with, or whatever they call it."

Mr. Page was looking at five Nundu eggs, three of them black, two white, and one green one. **(AN: OMG, I wonder which one Harry is going to pick!) **Harry immediately reached for the green one, but paused. It didn't seem right to him, and so he grabbed one of the white ones, and a feeling of pure warmth went through his body. **(AN: HAHAHAHAHAHA!) **

"Good, you've found a familiar. That particular egg was given to us by the great Nundu Zooni, who destroyed the magical Iraqi forces all by herself. She died a couple of years ago, after conquering the last free Nundu pack in Antarctica."

Harry gave the goblin a "what the fuck" look, and the goblin laughed. "Believe it or not, only one of those things was a lie, good luck finding out which one it is. Anyway, the egg should hatch in a couple of months."

Harry nodded, and walked toward the entrance to the Gaunt vault, but Ragnok stopped him." There are only a couple of galleons in there, there's nothing else worth anything in there."

The odd trio left the vaults, talking about fees and investments. Harry, who had grown to like the goblin, said, "You can take half of all my money as payment. I don't need all that gold."

Ragnok's eyes widened, "But Harry, that's over six billion galleons. Are you really donating that much?"

"Yep. I'm a pretty nice person aren't I?"

_Hell no, you're just doing this to get the support of the Goblin Nation you manipulative bastard._

'You know there's a nice place for rent in Dumbledore's ass…'

_I won't take it back, but it wasn't an insult. I've never been more proud of anyone in my entire life._

'Good sword.'

(DAC)

Harry and Mr. Page walked out of the bank, with Harry completely silent, wondering what to do next, and Mr. Page chattering like an idiot.

"So you think we can find a music shop or not? Because I really, really want to learn how to play this thing." He pulled out the instrument he had gotten from the vault.

"Tell you what, go find a music store, and I'll go get a wand."

"Awesome, see you at that ice cream place in about… two hours." Mr. Page ran off to find a map.

Harry sighed at his father's enthusiasm, and went into Ollivander's wand shop. When he was inside, he was greeted by a very odd man who said, "I wasn't expecting you for another couple of years, Mr. Potter. What are you doing here so early?"

"I wanted to get my things as quickly as possible. I want to learn all that I can before going to Hogwarts and have my education stunted by a manipulative old goat."

Ollivander was shocked by the young Potter's description of the most esteemed wizard of the century, and grew angry. "Sadly, Mr. Potter," he spat the name out, "it is illegal to sell a wand to a child under the age of eleven. Good day." Ollivander walked back to his office, and Harry walked out.

'Well that's another man added to my shit list.'

_That's right, the old man should have broken the law for a child he had just met. You have been terribly insulted._

'Do I even need to say it?'

_No sir…_

Harry contemplated what he should do next. He knew from Voldemort's memories that Knockturn had many shops that weren't above breaking the law, but was there a wand shop. He walked into the infamous alley and started looking. After an hour of looking for a wand shop, a short man in black approached Harry with a wand. He said, "Give me all of your money, or I'll kill you."

Harry rolled his eyes disgustedly, then shot his magic at the man, binding his arms and legs and holding him in mid-air level with Harry's face. "Where is a wand shop I can go to?"

The man pissed his pants with fear. "T-take a left, go down the street, then take a right. It will be right there, you can't miss it."

"Thank you very much." Harry used his magic to break the man's neck and left him on the sidewalk. The people of Knockturn Alley were used to finding dead bodies on the street anyway. Harry followed the man's directions, and found himself in a wand shop called "Gladdyus's Wands."

He entered the shop and was greeted with the awesome sight of dozens of wand materials sitting behind a counter. A tall, very thin man with sunken cheeks sat behind the counter. "How may I help you sir?" he asked, sounding just like Jeremy Irons.

"I am here to procure a wand."

"Aren't you a little young to be buying a wand, boy?"

"I'm willing to pay extra," Harry said with a smirk.

"Alright then, I will get Master Gladdyus."

Harry waited for a couple of minutes after the first man had disappeared out of sight. He examined a very dark wood that he felt a connection to. "Ahh, _Acacia melanoxylon, _or Australian Blackwood. Very stiff wood that is, but makes very powerful wands." This new man was almost seven feet tall, big and muscled, but he had delicate hands.

Harry glanced at the man and said, "I would like to buy a wand."

"Are you familiar with my methods?" When Harry shook his head, Gladdyus explained, "Unlike most wandmakers, I custom make each wand for the customer. While people like Ollivander make their wands beforehand and match each one the best he can, I make each detail exactly to the wielder's strength and personality."

"That sounds completely reasonable. Why doesn't everyone do it this way?"

"Because it is both expensive, and illegal."

"Oh… good reasons then."

"Yeah. Let's go make you a wand. It seems you've already found your wood, the Australian blackwood. That's a pretty rare wood there, I've actually never used it in a wand before. Now come and see which core you are attached to."

Harry looked at all of the cores and picked out three that he liked. "Could I use these three?"

"Hmm… I usually only do a max of two, but I like you kid. You've got potential. Those three you picked out are Veela Hair, The blood of a Russian Ice Dragon, and the feather of a Thunderbird. Very interesting combination, you're going to have a very temperamental but powerful wand on your hands." He brought out his measuring tools. "Now which hand do you prefer?"

"I am ambidextrous. I was wondering if I could dual wield. Does anyone do that?" Harry was asking because he wondered if he could transform Kangetsu into a wand.

_Damn right I can turn into a wand. I was wondering when you would figure it out._

Gladdyus thought for a second, "Now I know Grindewald sometimes dual wielded, as did Orion Black, but it is not a common skill. You should just stick to one wand for now. Now let's get your measurements."

As Gladdyus did his thing, Harry could hear mumbling from the gentle giant, doing calculations. "Hmm… You look like your wand should be around twelve and a half inches."

"Why thank you, but you seem to forget the fact that I am only nine years old."

Gladdyus burst out laughing, "Good one kid, just for that, I'll let you watch me make your wand."

Harry was fascinated by the wandmaker's work. He hand carved the wand, asking Harry if he wanted any designs. Harry decided on a simple spiral pattern with a black leather grip. As Gladdyus mixed the cores and put them into the wand, Harry watched, intrigued, as he memorized every movement, every tiny detail. Having a photographic memory rocked.

Finally, Gladdyus was done, and Harry marveled at the work of art that was his wand. "Thank you sir, that will be 55 galleons," said Gladdyus. Harry gave him ten thousand. Gladdyus gasped at the sum, but Harry would not take it back.

_Damn, you manipulating bastard. You know you'll have his loyalty for the rest of his life, right._

'That's the plan, my dear sword.'

As Harry walked out of the store, he heard Gladdyus yelling after him, "If there is anything you need, come anytime. My door is always open to you, kid."

"I'll remember that, Gladdyus."

(DAC)

As Harry made his way through Knockturn Alley, he heard the shout of a young girl. "Please, please, don't hurt me." Harry felt a burning pit of rage in his very soul, as he turned towards the direction of the shout. He hated rapists more than everything in the world, including Dumbledore.

He saw a short, dark haired man with a scraggy beard, wrestling down a small girl, around Harry's age, with black hair and a cute face. Harry literally roared in rage and directed his magic into his new wand and shot the only curse he could think of. _Avada Kedavra!_ A bolt of green light shot towards the man and hit him square in the forehead. The girl's screaming stopped as she looked at her hero. She met Harry's eyes, and Harry approached her. He felt responsible for her now, some sort of connection.

The young girl ran towards him… And punched him in the face. Harry gasped in shock! "What the hell was that for? I just saved your fucking life!"

The girl just stomped her foot and said, "I can take care myself, thank you very much."

"Yeah, you were doing a great job of it, too," said Harry said sarcastically.

"I-I… I'm sorry, I'm just used to taking care of myself. Thank you. What's your name?"

"Harry. Harry Potter."

The girl gasped, "You mean, **the** Harry Potter?" At Harry's nod, she said, "Well I'm Tonks. No that's not my first name, but if you call me Nymphaora you're a dead man, got it?"

"Hello Tonks. Where do you live?" When she looked down, he somehow knew immediately that she was a runaway. "You're going to come with me okay, Tonks. We'll find a home for you. But first let's get you a wand."

**So, anybody like where I'm going with this. This is my first fic, so seriously, call me out on my shit. No flaming though, but I am absolutely fine with constructive criticism. But review, cuz I need some inspiration. Suggestions greatly appreciated. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews. I am honestly… very… touched… oh god I promised myself I wouldn't do this… MUAHAHAHA I love acting! Anyway though most of your reviews are positive, I have had one that said I'm making Harry too strong at the beginning. One thing, THAT'S THE POINT. I am not going to spend 50 chapters building Harry up to the most powerful wizard ever. Thing is, that's kind of boring, so I'm going to skip that, make Harry a fucking badass straight off the bat, and make him do completely unrealistic things. You think its unrealistic? Well we are talking about A FUCKING WORLD WHERE PEOPLE HAVE STICKS AND SHOOT BRIGHT LIGHTS THAT KILL PEOPLE. IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE REALISTIC.**

**Anyway I have decided to do a harem, and so far its going to be like this. Harry with… (Deep Breath), Tonks, Bellatrix, Narcissa, Hermione, Luna, Fleur, and (older) Gabrielle, (making Fleur and Gabrielle Twins… HELL YEAH). Also I have a poll on my profile, and I am taking the top 3 girls from that and adding them in. Tonks is going to be the main girl, the so called "Dark Queen," the others will be like concubines. **

**This fic is going to go way past seventh year, and Dumbledore will not be the main antagonist. Neither will Voldemort for that matter. These two will occupy Harry's time at Hogwarts, but nothing more. There's going to be a lot more powerful enemy later. Someone who is actually a challenge to Harry, because weak enemies are no fun. **

**Also, I know I said there would be no cliches, but you know what? Writing completely original stuff is fucking hard. Yeah, I made him heir of Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, but I'd like to think that Grindewald is a little original, right? How about Gaunt? And I'm not going to make up completely new terms for things that Harry has power over, sorry not going to happen. **

**One other thing. I am going to be getting inspiration Darmethius's fic "Everyone has Darkness" for a lot of personality types. That is my all time favorite fic on here, so Naruto fans go read it. It is the most hilarious fic ever, and it was just finished. I eagerly await the sequel. SO THANK YOU DARMETHIUS, I IDOL YOU!**

**On with the chapter.**

**Chapter 3: Victim of Changes**

"Well my mother named me Nymphadora, but I hate that name. My favorite color is green, just like your eyes, I am an orphan. My parents were killed a couple of years ago. My favorite food is steak, with mushrooms on top…"

"DO YOU EVER SHUT UP?"

"Because honestly the mushrooms give the steak that nice earthy flavor. You know what tastes good with steak? Macaroni and cheese…"

"PLEASE LORD, I ASK YOUR FORGIVENESS! PLEASE DON'T PUNISH ME LIKE THIS!"

"I kind of like macaroni and cheese on a cold winter day, because the hot, rich, cheesy goodness just warms me from the inside out…"

"SERIOUSLY, I WILL BECOME A MONK, AND NEVER HURT ANYONE AGAIN! JUST MAKE IT STOP LORD!"

_Yeah, like that will ever happen._

'Shh… he'll hear you…'

Harry and Tonks were walking through Diagon Alley. Harry was late to meet Mr. Page at the ice cream shop, because he had been busy saving a little girl from being raped. Unfortunately for Harry, Tonks was a very clingy person. A very clingy, talkative person. Harry was on the borderline of going into shroud form and breaking her neck, but something inside him protested. He felt a strange connection to the girl.

"So where are we going Harry? Huh? Huh? Harry? Harry?"

"GODDAMNIT JUST SHUT UP FOR JUST FIVE. FUCKING. MINUTES!"

"Okay Harry. My savior. Light of my life. Future father of my children."

"GAH!"

(DAC)

"So my young ward, I leave you alone for two hours and you already have a little girl who will do anything you say?" Harry, Mr. Page, and Tonks were sitting at a small round table eating ice cream. Harry had explained his story to his father, who had immediately burst into tears of happiness at his adoptive son's luck.

"I… am so proud… to call you my son…"

This prompted Harry to give a rant that would make the infamous Dr. Cox proud. "Wow. I bust my ass for three years, become the greatest nine year old guitarist who ever lived, find out I am the most powerful person this world has ever seen, gain the respect of an entire nation of humanoids, and **this** is what makes you proud…" Harry paused to take a deep breath. "The fact that a girl, a goddamn girl, makes you proud of me insults my work, my power, and my intelligence. I am so insulted that I demand retribution… by letting Tonks move in with us."

_Damn, you sly, sly dog._

'I try my friend, I try.'

Mr. Page's mouth was wide open, and he realized that he had just been played… like a guitar. He snorted. That even sounded corny in his head. However, he saw that Tonks got on Harry's nerves, so that was reason enough to let the girl live with them.

"Wow, you just got word raped old man. That is why Harry will be my baby daddy." After a second of gaping at the nine year old girl who had just completely blown his mind, Mr. Page took a look at Harry's face and burst out laughing.

"I like this kid already. That is the most satisfied face you've ever made Harry." It was true, Harry was just now beginning to think about girls, and the image in his head was _very_ satisfying.

_Lets just hope he never finds out about me advancing his growth, he would kill me if he found out I was messing with his body._

'What was that sword? You better not be messing with my hormones or I will turn you into a dildo…'

_And stick me up Dumbledore's ass. God, try to think of something else._

'Shut up.'

(DAC)

After an exhausting two hour car ride, the trio stumbled into Harry and Mr. Page's apartment, Harry dragging his trunk into his room. It was already 11 PM, and the boy had a rather long day. Before he went into bed, however, he pulled out a couple of books. The first one, _Fifteen Hundred Curses of the Darkest Magicks_, a 600 year old book that he found in the Grindewald Vault, was recommended to him by Ragnok as being essential to learning the basics of dark magic.

The second book was _A Masters Guide to Soul Magic_. Harry had been having suspicions about his sudden compassion for both Mr. Page and Tonks, and he thought that his soul magic had connected them somehow.

Harry skimmed over the first book, committing all of the pages to memory. Damn I love my photographic memory, he thought. He saw a few interesting curses, like the Mind Destruction curse, the Unforgivables, and his personal favorite, the Disintegration Curse, which would reduce the target into its base elements. Slowly and painfully, that is.

As he picked up the Soul Magic guide, he just decided to fuck it and go to sleep. He had a busy day. He rested his head on his pillow and drifted to sleep.

(DAC)

He was being chased through the various side streets of Diagon Alley. His pursuer was a short man, with dark hair and a scraggy beard. He didn't feel like he normally did; he was a lot slower than usual, and the man caught up quickly. As the man slapped him in the face and started to grope his chest, Harry screamed shrilly. Wait… I don't scream shrilly. I have a manly yell filled with strength and bravado… Goddamnit, Tonks.

Harry woke up with a start and threw himself out of bed. He rushed over to the living room couch, where Tonks was convulsing and moaning, tear tracks running down her face. Harry's consciousness screamed with rage that the girl was feeling pain, and he gathered her up in his arms. Lying down beside her, he felt her stop shaking and begin to wake up.

"H-Harry… Wh-What are you doing here…"

Harry gazed down at her and said, "I should have tortured the man first. A quick death was too good for him."

Tonks gasped and said, "How did you know. Have you been digging inside my head? You have, haven't you?" She pushed him away and the darker part of Harry screamed for vengeance, but that thought was brutally pushed down by his new _connection_, or whatever it was.

Calming himself down, he said, "I was having the same dream you were having. I don't know why, but I have a good idea. I'll look in a certain book in the morning to see if I was right. Now if you're feeling better, I'll go back to my room."

Tonks looked devastated. "Wait, Harry. I'm sorry. I just don't like the thought of anyone messing with my mind for some reason."

"Apology accepted, now go to bed." Harry turned to walk to his bedroom.

Tonks got up. "C-can I come with you? Please?"

Harry looked at her for a second. It seemed like that the girl was already holding on to Harry like a umbrella in a shit storm. "Sure, Tonks. Come on."

(DAC)

Harry was woken up by a loud click, and a bright flash. As Harry became more aware of his surroundings, he saw his adoptive father, wearing a shit eating grin. More importantly, he felt a warm body, curled up against his side, with a leg slung over both of his.

Mr. Page was holding something in his hand. Oh shit, he did not just do what I think he just did. But he had. The something in Mr. Page's hands was a camera. Harry glared at him, fully aware that he couldn't do anything without waking his friend up.

Mr. Page seemed to realize this and started laughing like a hyena, while simultaneously trying to hold in his laughter. The effort caused him to look like a constipated dolphin. One thing he forgot though, was Harry's shroud.

Harry himself just remembered this fact, and grinned at his father. Oh shit, thought Mr. Page, I don't like that smile.

Harry looked at him. "You are going to give me that camera in the next three seconds, or your balls will be so crushed, your scrotum will look like it was run over by a train carrying dozens of elephants, then stomped on by a dinosaur."

Mr. Page winced at the phantom pain in his genitalia, and threw the camera over to Harry.

_Damn kid, I don't even have balls and that hurt._

"Very good choice, father. Now leave me alone so I can read, and the girl can sleep." Despite his cold words, Harry flashed a smile at his father.

Mr. Page returned the smile, oddly enjoying this bonding time with his son. "Breakfast will be served at 9 AM, so be up by then."

"OK, Mr. Page." At that, Harry's adoptive father walked out of the room. Harry used his shroud to grab the soul magic book so he wouldn't disturb his friend. As he skimmed through the pages, he found exactly what he was looking for, and immediately committed it to memory.

_Accidental Bonds:_

_Accidental bonds can be caused by any person gifted in the area of Soul Magic. These bonds require no conscious effort and can be caused by one of three things. _

_One: The subjects have full sexual intercourse, fueled by love not lust. _In other words, Harry thought, the fucking had to be meaningful. Good, it looks like I'm not going to connect to anyone using that method.

_Two: The subjects have been around each other so long, that a soul bond emerges from friendship._ Harry snorted. Like that's ever going to happen.

_Three: The least common accidental soul bond is when a person saves another person's life. _Goddamn it.

Harry sighed. That explains how I can connect to Tonks and Mr. Page. I wish I knew of this beforehand, it could have saved me all this stress. However… I can use this to my advantage. I now have a completely loyal follower who would kill just to be around me. If I get more people like that, I'll have an army to contend with Voldy's Death Nibblers and the old man's Order of the Flaming Chicken. After that… Who knows what I could do.

Harry's thoughts were interrupted by Tonks moaning and stretching. "Mmmm… Good morning Harry. You are the greatest pillow ever, it's like you were meant to fill me with warm gooey goodness."

Harry snorted at the poorly concealed innuendo, and shot back, "Tonks, you are a really good blanket. It was like you were made to be on top of me, moaning as you moved around…" Tonks blushed furiously. "In your sleep, that is." Noticing her blush, Harry said, "Come on, you can't dish it out and not expect a comeback. Especially from someone as awesomely witty as me."

Tonks nodded and stopped blushing. Seriously, she said "Harry, thank you for comforting me. I felt like shit last night, and you are the first one to really care this much about me. Thank you." She snuggled back into Harry's side again.

_Come on, my boy, you can fuck her. Right now, come on._

'Kangetsu, as much I appreciate the motivation, I am nine years old. Nine. Years. Old. Not even I am that fucked up. Now shut up before…'

_You turn me into a dildo and stick me up Dumbledore's ass, I know._

'Nope. I was going to turn you into a tampon and stick you up Sarah Palin's vadge.

_OH MY GOD! NO NO NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT. SHE PROBABLY HAS SO MUCH HAIR DOWN THERE THAT YOU COULD GIVE IT DREADLOCKS!_ **(AN: You are very welcome for the mental image).**

'Fear my power, sword. Fear me.'

Harry brought out his shroud and picked up Tonks, holding her in mid-air. With a yelp, Tonks started struggling as Harry "dragged" her to the breakfast table.

"Wow, Harry, we just had a heartfelt moment and you had to go and ruin it. Just for that, I don't think I'll tell you the coolest thing about myself."

"You mean that you're a Metamorphagus. I already know," Harry said with a cheeky smile.

Tonks looked surprised, "How did you know?"

"You change your appearance when you sleep." Harry had read up on magical abilities after doing the rituals at the bank. Out of all the other abilities, Metamorphagus was the one ability that he wished he had. He wasn't that jealous, though. He could use his shroud to cast a glamour so strong that no one but Dumbledore could see through it.

"Damn it. That was going to be my trump card during sex." Harry got an awesome mental image at that, and in a land far away, a tall, white haired man riding a giant toad laughed perversely.

"Alright, Mr. Page, what are we going to do today?" asked Harry.

Mr. Page, who had been amusedly watching the two children banter with each other, replied, "Well, it's a Sunday so we don't have to work. First we gotta tell Tonks the house rules, and see if she can play an instrument. I also got a cool magical amplifier at that shop that makes your guitar sound like anything, with just a thought that I want to play with. Then I plan to leave you two alone and meet an old friend for dinner."

"Uncle Robert or Uncle John?" Harry asked excitedly.

"Both of them. We're thinking about doing a reunion." (**AN: How awesome would that be, seriously?)**

Harry nodded and went with Tonks to the "study." Well it was called a study, but it was really just a large room with a three huge bookshelves filled with CD's, LPs, and old records. On the other wall was a huge array of guitars, basses, mandolins, and just about every stringed instrument in existence. The third wall was completely covered with huge amplifiers, with a large rune that looked like "Zoso" covering each of them.

"So, Tonks, what are you interested in playing?" Harry asked with a grin,

Tonks, who had never even seen a guitar in her life said, "Err, whats that one with four strings. That looks pretty easy."

Harry groaned. "That's called a bass, Tonks, and yes the basics are pretty easy. However, the best bassist can make a bass sound like a beautiful wave of rolling thunder, a powerful orgasm penetrating…"

"Okay, Harry, I get the point. I want to learn how to play that one."

(DAC)

Dumbledore paced around his office in a rage, knocking over silver instruments, mumbling to himself, and generally acting like a senile old man.

"The boy… took… my MONEY AWAY FROM ME!" Dumbledore had just learned that there was no money left in the Potter vault. His spy in the goblin ranks had told him that the young Harry Potter had come in, accessed his vaults, and left with a huge trunk filled with god knows what.

"He's supposed to be my pawn! My sacrificial lamb! He can't learn anything productive, or else he can't be kept under my thumb!" The spy was one of the guards at the door of Gringotts. He had mentioned that he hadn't seen the Potter boy come in, but he did see him come out, and escorted by the director! The goddamn motherfucking ruler of the goblin race. There wasn't much else that could go wrong.

Well at least I am still far more powerful than the boy. By the time he gets to Hogwarts I'll be able to convince him that it would be very _beneficial_ for him to join my side.

Fawkes, who had decided to give the old headmaster one last chance, flew away to the mountains, never to be seen again.

(DAC)

"Good. Now go to a G… F#... E… D… No that's a C#, the next fret down is a D… There you go. Now C C G… Good, now put it all together… Absolutely perfect Tonks, you are really getting a hang of this." Harry had spent the last three hours teaching Tonks the bass. While she was not a protégé at the bass like Harry (Who had been able to play the solo in "Heartbreaker" perfectly after hearing it the first time) was in guitar, she had a good grasp of it.

Harry, who was glad to have someone to pass his knowledge to, was a patient teacher, able to show Tonks exactly what to do. At the moment, Harry was strumming an acoustic guitar, which also happened to be his sword, playing in time to Tonks's bass.

This was the sight that Mr. Page walked into. His eyes widened, the room was a lot bigger. He looked questioningly at Harry.

Harry misinterpreted the look and answered, "Tonks wanted to play bass, so I taught her," he said with a shrug.

Mr. Page sighed, "I don't care about that. But how in blue hell did you get this place to get so big?"

"Space expansion charm. Seriously, are you really surprised?" Harry asked exasperatedly.

"I guess not. Anyway, I'm going to dinner with Robert and John, so you kids can order pizza or whatever."

"No way, old man. This thing is awesome, I want Harry to teach me everything I can learn. There's no time to waste on something as stupid as eating!" Tonks was very passionate about her new hobby.

Both Harry and Mr. Page sweat-dropped. "Ok then girl, do whatever you want." He wasn't too surprised with her behavior. Harry was even worse when he had first learned the guitar; he still remembered the time when Harry had stayed up for six days without eating anything, just playing the guitar.

"Harry, don't let her do what you did." Harry nodded. "Ok then, you kids be good, and clean up whatever _mess_ you make." Tonks blushed at the innuendo, while Harry just chuckled at his father's antics.

Still chuckling, he said, "Oh father, the threat from this morning still stands." Mr. Page ran out of the room holding his balls.

Tonks laughed at the man and asked, "What threat?"

"You don't want to know. Now here's a new song. It's a pretty famous song that my father's band made up. Its in the key of A minor for me, just A for you…"

(DAC)

(3 months later)

A man was sitting in his prison cell, his ghostly guards standing, well floating, right outside the bars. He had just been visited by the Head of Muggle Relations. All sorts of people came from the government; all of them came to spit on him, yell at him, or just to ask him why. Of course, they never listened to his protests, but that didn't really matter. What mattered is that this particular official happened to bring a muggle newspaper with him.

The prisoner had asked for it, wanting to look at the news of the muggle world. The Muggle Relations Head did not really care, and just gave it to him. After the man had walked away, the prisoner had riffled through the paper, wondering if any wars were going on. However he was in for a shock as he turned to the entertainment section. The headline was in large bold letters.

**Led Zeppelin Reunion: Page's Son to Perform – By: Ethan Owens**

The long awaited reunion of the legendary band "Led Zeppelin" is finally here. Rock and roll fans from all over the world are gathering in New York for the July 31 charity concert, celebrating legendary guitarist's adoptive son Harry Page. The three remaining members of the supergroup (Robert Plant, John Paul Jones, and Jimmy Page) are playing with John Bonham's son Jason Bonham, but the biggest surprise is that Page's own son will be playing rhythm guitar. Jimmy Page assures us that the bands playing will not be hampered by young Harry (who is turning 10), and that everyone will be surprised by the concert.

Led Zeppelin is playing in Madison Square Garden, in what is projected to be a four hour concert. All money from the concert will be given to the Education Fund of America (which obviously needs all the help it can get**). **This is expected to be the last concert ever played by Led Zeppelin, as Robert Plant needed to be bribed to sing for them. **(AN: Goddamnit Plant, just fucking agree to go on tour!) **

The prisoner was not that interested in the actual story, however, but the full color picture caught his attention immediately. It was a picture of Jimmy Page and his son. The prisoner could have sworn it was James Potter staring back at him, without the glasses. He read through the article again, and his eyes widened in realization. Harry Page. Harry Potter.

I need to go see my godson, thought the prisoner. He gathered all the energy in his battered body as he stood straight in determination. _EXPECTO PATRONUM! _The wandless patronus took a huge amount of energy from the prisoner's body, but it was worth it. A great silver dog shot from the prisoner's body and drove away the dementors.

The bars were taken care of by a wandless Reducto, as the prisoner dashed out of the prison, changing into a dog that mirrored his patronus. He was escorted by his patronus as the black dog dove into the ocean below. As the prisoner began his seven mile swim to the mainland, he let the thoughts of his godson fuel his depleted body. That and hate of one Albus Dumbledore, who had told him Harry had died with his parents.

Sirius Black didn't like being lied to, or set up. It was time to find his godson.

(DAC)

In the last three months, Harry had learned all the spells from first through fifth year, which were complete child's play for him. Gladdyus had taken the trace off of Harry, so he had no problem practicing magic with his wand. He had also performed a few power rituals after learning that the blood wards around the Dursleys' house had sapped his magical power. He was joined in these rituals by Tonks, who had enjoyed being taught by Harry.

Tonks and Harry were inseparable by this time, in many ways, Tonks was Harry's only friend. He got along well with Mr. Page, Uncle Robert, and Uncle John, and he saw Jason Bonham as a cousin, but they were like family. Tonks was Harry's lifeline to the world, and only she was able to calm him down when he was particularly blood-thirsty.

Tonks saw Harry as her best friend, mentor, and crush, all at the same time. She learned all the magic she could from Harry, and enjoyed the pranks that she helped him play on Mr. Page. She had gotten particularly good at bass, but wasn't allowed to play at the reunion on Harry's birthday. She got a bit upset at that, but understood she was outclassed.

Robert, John, and Jason were pretty skeptical when Mr. Page wanted Harry to play rhythm, but after hearing Harry play for the first time, they were rendered completely speechless. Harry and Mr. Page had agreed to share the solos for the songs, but Mr. Page cited in no uncertain terms that he was going to play "Stairway to Heaven" alone. That was **his** trademark. However, he did let Harry play "Since I've been Loving You" alone, as that was Harry's favorite song.

Harry had also gotten a new hobby. Every morning he would run over to a gym a couple of miles away from the guitar shop and would work out. He now stood at 5 foot 2, tall for his age, and he was built like a leopard; lithe and strong.

Speaking of leopards, Harry's Nundu had hatched from its egg. The leopard was still a kitten, so it wasn't capable of speech yet, but a favorite part of Harry's day was playing with the small, white kitten. The kitten was a boy, but he didn't have a name yet. Harry decided that he and the kitten could decide on the name together.

On the night before the concert, Harry was rehearsing his parts in a recording studio. Tonks came in, walking slowly towards her crush, wanting to surprise him. Unfortunately, one of the rituals Harry performed was a sense enhancing ritual, so he heard her coming from a mile away, and turned towards her.

She cursed and said. "Damn you, Harry. Why do you have to be like that?" At Harry's smirk she changed the subject, "So are you practicing for the show?"

"Nope, I was in here trying to discover the cure for AIDS." At her confused look, he said, "No shit Sherlock, of course I practicing. God, should I be more worried that you had to ask, or that you actually believed me for a second?" Harry enjoyed teasing Tonks.

Tonks blushed slightly, knowing that she had acted pretty dumb. "Fine, you win. What do you want for your birthday tomorrow?" She had already gotten his gift, which she was absolutely sure he would like, but she wanted to ask just in case.

"I want your body, Tonks. I want to feel you, and I want you to feel my…"

"Shut up Harry. I mean what do you really want?" Tonks asked. She was used to Harry's teasing by now.

Harry sensed her seriousness and said, "You know I would be fine with whatever you got me, right?" Tonks nodded. Seeing that his friend was reassured, he said, "You could get me a bed though. You haven't stopped sleeping in mine."

Tonks's frustrated yell was heard throughout Manhattan.

(DAC)

Sirius was close to his godson, he could feel it. He was currently walking through the streets of New York, looking for the hotel that he knew Led Zeppelin was staying in. He found the place, and used a stolen wand to alter his appearance. He entered the hotel and saw dozens of fans, crowding around the stairs, all fighting to go up. The elevator was being guarded by security guards for some reason, "I guess it's OK to harass the band if you have to exercise to do it," he said to himself.

Sirius walked through one of the side halls and he found another staircase, completely deserted 'People are so stupid sometimes.'

After he got up the stairs, he saw a whole other crowd of people surrounding a single room, all yelling and screaming to get in. Sirius took the easy route and just apparated inside. "Magic fucking rocks!"

Then he saw two wands pointed at his head. He saw Harry holding one of them, looking completely calm, and his godson said, "That it does. Now what the fuck are you doing here?"

(DAC)

"So you are my godfather, you got framed by a rat animagus, you were lied to by Dumbledore, and you saw me in a newspaper, which prompted you to break out of prison. You then followed me over 3500 miles on a daring fishing boat in able to find me… Alright, I can accept that."

Sirius gave a sigh of relief. "Good. Now what is this I hear about you being in the greatest band of all time?"

Harry was grinned. "Because I'm the most awesome motherfucker in the entire world. How do you know about of Led Zeppelin?" he asked confusedly.

Sirius nodded. "Of course, I was a rebel against a pureblood society in the early 70s. Of course I know Led Zeppelin. John Bonham was my idol man!"

"You can play the drums?"

"Hell yeah. Probably the best drummer on the planet now that old Bonzo is gone."

"Yeah right. You're not that good." Thirty minutes and a perfect rendition of "Moby Dick" later left both Harry and Tonks with their minds completely blown.

"OK, I believe you. Harry, you are damn lucky to know all these people," Tonks said, with a hint of admiration.

(DAC)

The charity concert was a complete success; reviews praised the band for sticking to their roots, yet being inventive at the same time. Critics who were skeptical about letting a ten-year-old play in arguably the greatest band of all time were flabbergasted at his performance. The boy attracted headlines all over the world. Unfortunately, this news found some unfriendly sources.

(DAC)

"The boy is alive?" a tall man with an arrogant face, long blonde hair, and manicured nails, **(Cough, Cough, Douche Cough Bag Cough… ugh, sorry about that)** gripped the muggle newspaper in anger. "Gather the rest of the survivors. We're going to give young Potter a birthday present that he will never forget!"

Narcissa Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange, who had broken out of prison along with a dozen others after the dementors had been incapacitated, blankly nodded and followed the Malfoy Patriarch's orders.

(DAC)

Harry, Sirius and Tonks were walking through Central Park laughing and talking about the concert. It was 1 AM, but they were all hyped up from the show earlier and no intention of going to sleep. They were acting all innocent and shit when over 15 pops were heard around them.

Both Harry and Sirius reacted instinctively, dropping down to the ground, Harry pulling Tonks with him.

Harry felt rage fill his senses. He took out his wand and his sword and transformed Kangetsu into a pure black ebony wand.

_YEAH! IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME! LETS KICK SOME ASS!_

'I couldn't agree more.'

With curses flying over their heads, Harry grabbed a rock and pointed his wand at it. "_Portus!" _he shouted. He gave the rock to Tonks. "GET OUT OF HERE NOW! YOU AREN'T STRONG ENOUGH YET!"

Tonks was about to protest, but she saw the rage in Harry's eyes and decided to just do what he said. She whispered, "Good luck," then she made a huge mistake. She stood up to activate the portkey. She was immediately hit with 3 stunners.

Harry's world slowed down as pure fear rushed through his veins. "TONKS!" He cast all the healing spells he knew, but she didn't wake up. He disillusioned her, and then stood up slowly. His green cloak spreading around him and growing in intensity. Sirius looked at him, completely shocked.

Harry screamed, "ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS! YOU WANT TO FIGHT? I'M RIGHT HERE!" Four figures wearing silver masks came out from behind the trees, laughing.

"So the little Potter wants to play? What can he do? I will fuck him… OH MY GOD IT FUCKING HURTS! AHH!" The man known as Rodolphus Lestrange went down, hit with a disintegration curse.

Harry was a blur as he used his two wands to shoot curses lightning fast. _"DECRUSTO! CRUCIO! AVADA KEDAVRA!"_ Three more death eaters went down as Harry destroyed everything in his path.

The remaining 16 Death Eaters were wary now. The boy knew some very dark magic, and was putting up much more of a fight than they expected. Lucius sent out 13 Death Eaters to surround the boy. Sirius was just looking on in shock, unable to do anything as he was hit by a Body Bind early in the fight.

Harry regarded the 13 Death Eaters with pure contempt, his shroud flailing around as if with a mind of its own. Everything was dead silent for a moment. Then the first Death Eater fired a spell.

"_Stupefy!"_ Harry blurred out of sight as the shroud accelerated his body movements. He shouted "_ANIMUS DELERE!"_ The Mind Destruction curse hit the offending Death Eater in the middle of the forehead.

"AND THEN THERE WERE 12 MOTHERFUCKING SHITHEADS LEFT TO DESTROY!"

The Death Eaters moved as one, each of them firing either the Killing Curse or Cruciatus Curse. Harry shouted at once, "_TERRARUM CONSURGAT!" _The earth all around Harry rose to deflect the curses , then shot forward with a wave of Harry's wands. After that there were only 5 left, and 3 of them had pissed their pants.

Above them, storm clouds started to gather, and lightning flashed in the sky. The Death Eaters took this as a bad omen and tried to apparate out, but found themselves trapped by anti-apparation wards that they had set up. One of the wittier ones said, "Well that's irony right there."

Out of nowhere a lightning bolt hit Harry's shroud, and was absorbed by Harry's magic. Harry now had blue energy coursing through his veins.

_Harry, your elemental powers have been activated! You are a lightning elemental!_

'No shit Sherlock. What the fuck would I do without you?"

Harry snapped his attention to the five remaining Death Eaters, who gulped and hesitantly raised their wands. They started to shout their curses, but Harry was faster, and he screamed, "_FULMEN FULMINIS!" _Five bolts of lightning shot out of Harry's wands, and struck down the remaining Death Eaters.

"WHO THE FUCK IS NEXT?"

Lucius was sweating. The Potter boy was completely invincible. He had to get out of here! The earth around him shook with an angry dual blast from Harry's wands. He wasn't even bothering with spells anymore; he just let his intent shoot out of his wands. It was pretty damn terrifying. 'If I don't escape from here, I'll be killed! Or even worse, I'll get a hangnail! God forbid I mess up my beautiful hair!' He shouted to his mind slaves. "Go occupy him while I escape! My beautiful haired line must survive!"

Bellatrix and Narcissa nodded blankly and went to engage the boy.

Harry saw them coming and was about to shoot lightning again, but he noticed three things. One, the two women's masks had fallen off, two, they were fucking HOT, and three, they both had completely blank looks on their faces. They had either been Imperioused or mind raped, and Harry was not one to let beautiful women be controlled.

He broke into their minds easily, as if their defenses weren't even there. Harry recognized the magic of the Dim Lord Voldy all over their minds, along with a few other wizards. He realized he couldn't repair the damage, but he had a risky idea.

He pointed his wands at both women and shouted, "_Animus Delere!"_ The mind destruction curse worked exactly as planned. They both fell unconscious and Harry searched their minds. All traces of foreign influence were gone. Both of their minds had been repressed by Voldemort, and Harry just destroyed the most powerful part of their minds, allowing the repressed part to take over again.

"Goddamn, why is it always me?" He levitated both women to where Sirius and Tonks were sitting. By this time Tonks had woken up and was looking at Harry with wide eyes, full of fear. Harry recoiled at the fear in her eyes, and Tonks seemed to realize that.

She stood up and ran towards Harry, enveloping him in a warm hug. "Thank you for saving me. I guess that's two times I'm in your debt now."

That reminded Harry of something. "Now I have three more soul bonds." At Tonks's confused look he elaborated. "I saved Sirius from harm, and I spared these two," he gestured at the two women behind him.

He released Sirius from the Body Bind, and Sirius grinned at Harry. "That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen, and I fought in the first war! You just took out 19 trained Death Eaters, by yourself. And you didn't even get a scratch! That is so completely unrealistic!" **(wink wink)**

"I told you I was the most awesome motherfucker in the entire world. That wasn't an empty boast."

"Hell no it wasn't. Now let's get back to the hotel. I'm exhausted."

"Said the one who didn't fire a shot," Harry said with a grin.

"Ahh fuck you."

(DAC)

"There was what kind of activity in New York?" Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, listening to Severus Snape.

"Death Eater activity, sir. They attacked a couple of wizards last night. However, they were defeated quite thoroughly, they lost 19 attackers and only Lucius Malfoy survived. The Lestrange brothers, Rookwood, and Macnair were the only high level people killed, but the bodies of Bellatrix Lestrange and Narcissa Malfoy were missing."

"Who were they attacking?" Dumbledore wondered who could be powerful enough to take on 20 fully trained wizards alone.

"Lucius had the stupid notion that the guitarist from the Muggle rock band Led Zeppelin was the father of Harry Potter. Honestly, out of all the things."

Dumbledore's head shot up. "Harry Potter? Did you say Harry Potter?"

Snape was confused, "Err, yes. Lucius believed Harry Page was actually Harry Potter."

Dumbledore stood up. "Thank you for the report. I am glad that Lucius still trusts you. You are the perfect spy for the light."

Snape was now very confused. He bid good night to the aging headmaster. He had begun to question Dumbledore lately; he was acting very strange. Well, stranger than normal that is. Honestly, to think that Harry Potter was Harry Page, it was preposterous, wasn't it? Right?

(DAC)

As soon as Snape was out of hearing distance Dumbledore through and old man tantrum. "THE BOY IS TOO POWERFUL! I WANT HIM TO BE MY PAWN! DAMNIT, I AM THE MOST POWERFUL MAN ALIVE! NO ONE DEFIES ME!"

"Err, sir." Snape was standing at the doorway, looking completely stupefied, holding a newspaper.

'Oh shit, how do I pass this off.' "Ahh… Severus, my boy… I was, err, playing Black OPS?..."

Snape sweat-dropped. "Uhh, right. If now's not a good time…"

"Nonsense, my boy. What do you have?"

"It's just that this newspaper article. It has a picture of Harry Page, and it looks exactly like _him_." He said this with the most hatred he could muster. However a small part of him said, 'but he has Lily's, dear Lily's eyes."

"Thank you Severus, I shall look into it." Dumbledore was sweating bullets. He knew that Severus's mind was too strong for an Obliviate, so his fate was completely in the hands of a known traitor. Whoopdee-Fucking-Doo.

"Good night, sir." Snape started seriously considering seeking a new allegiance.

"Good night, my dear, dear boy."

Snape nearly puked. He started to think Dumbledore wanted to keep him chained to his bed, ready for and old wrinkled… No, I am not going to think about that. Maybe this Potter fellow isn't such a bad leader…

(DAC)

**Wow, 2 updates, 2 days. Don't expect another one tomorrow, cuz I have a shitload of tests next week so I can't update until 2 weeks from now. Anyway, as I was writing this, I thought of a couple of challenges. Here they are:**

**First person to name the first song Tonks was playing on bass will receive every chapter of this story 3 days before anyone else does, right to pick 2 people for the harem, and if they write a story, I will beta it. Now I know this is virtually impossible, so I'll give you some clues. 1, it is not a Led Zeppelin song, but Jimmy Page does play it with Jack White and The Edge in a well-known guitar movie. 2, to recap, the chord progression for guitar is G, G/F#, Em7, D/F#, C, G for the chorus, and the verse is G, Bm, C. To most of you that makes no sense whatsoever, but those who do understand it may be able to guess the song just by playing it. 3, the songs name has to do with heaviness. You must provide the name of the song and the name of **_**The Band.**_

**This one is a little easier, but no clues. All you need is what's in the story. What is the second song that Harry starts to teach Tonks when Mr. Page goes to dinner. First one who guesses gets chapter 3 days before everyone else, and can name 1 harem character.**

**Last one. Pretty easy. Who wrote the song that is the title of this chapter. Prize is you get to name one harem character**

**Now no complaining about the challenges. I don't want some stupid ass reviewer saying "Oh. The challenges are so unfair! I'm such a whiny little bitch and I don't know the answer!" Seriously, I've got absolutely no patience with that shit. Anyway, that was my first fighting scene, and you guys need to help me get better at those. Because I spent like 3 hours on it and it's not that good. So constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Please note I said **_**CONSTRUCTIVE**_**. Can't emphasize that point enough. The original spells are all original Latin, so I didn't just make shit up. Here are the spells I used:**

_DECRUSTO- Disintegrate. Causes the target to disintegrate slowly and painfully. Harry's favorite spell._

_ANIMUS DELERE- Mind Destroy. What the fuck do you think it does, shoot small kittens? Hell no._

_TERRARUM CONSURGAT- Earth Rise. _

_FULMEN FULMINIS- Lightning Bolt._

**On another note, I am going to start gravitating more towards the magical world, so no more New York, no more Led Zeppelin concerts, nothing. More fights will come later.**

**So anyway, review, and you guys inspire me… sob. Thank you so fucking goddamn much!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello my faithful readers, I am back with a vengeance my friends! There are a couple of orders of business, first of all, congratulations to Susake Uchiha (no, that's not a typo), and to ****XerxesDariusNemoc for guessing two of the challenges. The second challenge, which is the one about the famous Led Zeppelin song in A minor, is still open, so start guessing people. **

**Also, I am issuing a warning. The following chapter is extremely cliché in the fact that Bellatrix and Narcissa were forced into marriage, blah blah blah, they were abused, blah blah blah. Thing is, it's the easiest way to incorporate them into the story. Hopefully, there may be a few twists coming that no one has seen, but I'm not making any promises. So fuck it, I'm not going to care. On with the chapter.**

**Chapter 4: Black Dog… And his Family **

Bellatrix Lestrange woke up slowly. As soon as she opened her eyes, she noticed three things. First, it was FUCKING BRIGHT! Second, she wasn't in her husband's manor, and three, she had a headache so large it felt like a rabid raccoon was slowly crawling out of her cranium.

After her eyes got adjusted to the bright light coming out of a large window right next to her bed, she examined her surroundings. She was in a very soft bed, the room she was in was rather small, but cozy, with light green walls and brown carpet. Her clothes were folded on a desk in one corner, and she was wearing a light sleeping robe.

"Glad you're awake. I thought you would be asleep for a week after I fucking made a fool of you, your husband, and all of your comrades." She turned to the source of the voice, and was startled to see a boy, maybe about 10 years old. He had dark black hair, and startlingly bright green eyes, with a build slightly like a puma. "However, I can't really blame you. Your technique sucked, and I'm just too amazingly awesome to be taken down by a few pussies in black robes.?

Bellatrix blushed at the direct insult to her skills, Not like she gave a fuck about anyone else except her sister, but she was a little fuzzy on the details of the last… like 20 years.

"Who the hell are you, boy? Where am I, and what do you want with me?" Her questions covered a thinly disguised threat. However, the boy just laughed.

"Wow, Bella, I am hurt. I spend three days rebuilding your mind so you don't end up a slobbering mess that makes the Longbottoms look like the royal family. However, since I'm such a _nice_ person, I'll answer you." He took a deep breath. "My name is Harry James Potter Page." At her gasp of disbelief, he rolled his eyes and showed her his scar. "Happy now?" At Bellatrix's shocked nod, he continued.

"You are at my house, in Surrey, England. And I want you, Bellatrix, to be my loyal follower, teacher, and quite possibly my second-in-command."

Bellatrix snorted. "How do you know you want me. I don't even know you, and I'm pretty sure you don't know me."

"On the contrary, Bella dear, I know everything about you. Tell me, do you remember anything from the last time you were conscious?" Harry asked.

Bellatrix scrunched her face in concentration. _She's actually pretty cute_, thought Harry. She finally said, "I remember Lucius ordering me and a few other Death Eaters to attack you. Something about you being defenseless. But apparently you had backup, or else I wouldn't be here."

Harry laughed. He laughed hard. "Backup! Backup! You didn't even listen to me. I fucking took all of you out, all by myself!" At her stunned disbelief, he said, "That's right bitch, I took out your husband, your brother-in-law, and all of your comrades out, the supposed _elite_ of Lord Voldemort, completely by myself. Suck on that Dumbledore!"

Bellatrix suddenly stood up. "Did you kill my sister, you bastard. I don't care about any of those other assholes, but if you hurt my sister, I swear I will rip your balls off and choke you with them!"

Harry laughed again. "I think I like you, Bella. No, I didn't kill your sister, she's just taking a while to wake up."

Bellatrix visibly relaxed, and asked, "Why is everything so fuzzy? The last thing that I remember is…"

"Twenty years ago, right before you were raped by your husband, his brother, and Lucius?"

Bellatrix gasped again, but thought that she shouldn't be surprised by now. After all, he apparently knows everything about me, she thought.

Harry continued. "You were placed under several imperious curses, and subjected to mind weakening curses as well, for almost twenty years. When you and your former comrades attacked me, I used legilimency and saw that you were being controlled against your will. I shot a mind-destruction curse at you and your sister, which destroyed Lucius's influence. Unfortunately, it destroyed some of your memories, so I had to spend a few days picking up the pieces, so to speak. So I know everything about your life, and I have to say, your life has fucking sucked."

It was true. Though Harry was a lot younger than Bellatrix, his abuse wasn't nearly as bad as hers. At least he didn't have to be raped almost every day. "Anyway, I used your memories to see what you looked like before you were enslaved, and I created a potion that restored you to your former beauty."

This part wasn't true. Though Harry was a natural at potions, he had actually used his growing grasp of soul magic to manipulate her body's hormones, thus giving her a younger looking body. Bellatrix didn't know this, and looked into the mirror.

She gasped yet again in amazement. Looking back at her was a beautiful black haired woman with deep chocolate brown eyes, and a beautiful body. It looks exactly like me when I was just out of Hogwarts, she thought. She looked at the young boy standing next to her, and pulled him into a strong hug.

"Thank you, Harry Potter. Thank you for giving me my life back."

_Jesus fucking Christ. Do you ever stop? Manipulation is like crack to you, isn't it. You can't get enough of it._

'Ahh, Kangetsu, it is pretty addicting, but it does help my plans for world domination. One does need followers for such a large undertaking.'

Harry felt Kangetsu sigh in agreement. Harry was quickly turning the sword to his way of thinking. In fact, he hadn't had to threaten the being in almost a month.

_Yeah, you are right about most stuff anyway, and you do know how to have fun…_

'That's right. I'm a fucking badass, don't ever forget it.'

Back in reality, Bellatrix had finally let go of Harry. She still had a few questions. "So why do you need me to teach you? You seem to know just about everything. And why is your last name Page? And when can I see my sister."

Harry sighed. He thought they had gotten past the questions. "Ugh… My last name is Page because of my adoptive father. I need you to teach me because, believe it or not, none of the ancient Black family spells were in my vaults. Who would have guessed? And you can see your sister when she wakes up. Anyway, not like I don't appreciate the view, but you might want to get some clothes on."

Bellatrix was confused, but looked down. Her nightgown was barely covering her… area. She blushed and jumped back in bed.

Harry chuckled. "Breakfast is in about an hour, so if you're hungry, come eat. I'm not going to be a fucking maid and bring you breakfast in bed."

**(DAC)**

The next day saw Harry, Mr. Page, Tonks, and Bellatrix walking through Diagon Alley. Sirius was watching Narcissa, who was still asleep, and Bellatrix was disguised as a Weasley. Something she wasn't really proud about.

"Did you really have to make me a Weasley? A Weasley? Fuck you Potter… Page, whatever."

Harry chuckled and said, "Well you need clothes and shit, don't you? Anyway, there are so many fucking Weasleys that it's not suspicious to see one and not know who it is, so that's why I made you a Weasley."

Tonks, who had been glaring daggers at Bellatrix since she had first woken up, said, "You know if you don't like it, you can just leave, bitch." She was not going to let some beautiful witch come and steal her Harry, especially when that witch was her fucking aunt.

Bellatrix glared at her niece, but didn't say anything. Mr. Page didn't have any qualms about speaking, though, and said, "Harry, son. I am not sure whether to be jealous, or be grateful that I don't have to deal with your shit."

Harry, who was not oblivious to the catfight that was just waiting to happen, replied amusedly, "I can't wait until I am old enough to take advantage of this… situation."

As the father and son laughed, the two girls continued to glare at each other. Harry settled down and said, "Why don't you girls go shopping for clothes, makeup, dildos, whatever the fuck you need, and Dad can go to the music store again. I need to go get some potions ingredients." Harry gave his group some money, and left, leaving two girls with huge blushes, and a middle aged man who looked constipated he was laughing so hard.

**(DAC)**

Severus Snape definitely had had better days. Fuck that, he thought, the day had been downright shitty. So shitty that it made a five foot pile of dragon manure look like a tiny mouse turd. He had been seriously considering leaving Hogwarts and its downright insane headmaster behind and seeking new employment. Unfortunately, Dumbledore had made it quite clear that if Snape was going to leave, he would be immediately arrested for crimes of being a Death Eater.

What made matters worse is that he had to go into the apothecary to pick up ingredients for some anti-pregnancy potions that Dumbledore demanded. Severus really did not want to have any images as to why the wrinkled man actually needed the potions, but he had to do it.

What made the day absolutely shitty, however, is that he was pretty sure Harry Potter was in the apothecary as well. He was conflicted on the subject of the son of his nemesis. On one hand, he was the son of the man who made his life an absolute hell for seven years and the woman that betrayed his love. On the other, however, this child was extremely powerful and Severus was contemplating going to him to become a follower.

Screw the fact that the child was only ten years old, anyone able to take down twenty full grown wizards all by their lonesome was worthy of Severus's respect. Before he could make the decision to approach the young boy or not, fate decided to make his choice a little easier.

Potter approached him and said, "Severus Snape. I can't really say it's an honor to finally meet you, but I need to talk to you."

Snape's mind was racing. Shit, what does this boy want? I don't think I can fight him off if he decides to attack me. He decided to play it cool, and said, "Mr. Potter, or is it Mr. Page now? No matter, I have heard of your… _adventure_ in America and I have to say that I am impressed." Snape decided flattery was the best option right now.

Harry just looked at the greasy-haired man, not saying anything. Snape started to get nervous and was about to say something, before he felt a pressure in his mind so light that a man any less trained in occlumency would have missed it.

Severus immediately threw up his considerable mental shields, and the presence withdrew. Harry smirked, and said, "Good. I knew you were adept at the mind magics, but I needed to know if you could keep this secret." Harry released his shroud and wrapped up Severus, and apparated them both to an empty room in the Leaky Cauldron.

Snape was truly scared shitless at this point. He had only felt the boy's magic for a couple of seconds but it felt more powerful than anything he'd ever felt before. Not even an angry Voldemort could compare to the raw power that the boy exhibited.

Harry grinned at the fear that he saw in the man's eyes, relishing the effect that his power had on people. "Don't worry, Severus. I am not here to harm you; in fact, I am here to help you."

Severus calmed down a little. After all, he hadn't done anything to piss this boy off, so he was reasonably safe. "What do you mean?"

Harry laughed and said, "You seem to be very adept at being a spy, and I happen to need one. You spy on Dumbledore, give loyalty to me and _only _me, and I will reward you. Simple as that."

Snape narrowed his eyes, untrusting. "That's it. You don't demand some sort of sacrifice? No blood oath?"

Harry just looked at him. "I think that you have more than enough reasons to come to my side, and I will reward you with immunity from Wizengamot, protection from Voldemort, and any potion ingredients that you will ever need." Harry paused, waiting for the older man to comprehend the generous offer that he was being offered, then continued. "All I need you to do is spy on the old goat, and tell me everything that he is planning. Especially that Order of his, who knows what kind of shit he can do with enough manpower."

Severus thought about it… for about three seconds. "You, Mr. Potter, have a deal."

Harry smiled. "My name his Page. Harry Page."

_Nice fucking James Bond impression. You are so original, you know that._

'I will turn you into a rubber glove and use you for Steven Hawking's prostate exam.'

_Shit… That one must have taken a lot of thought._

'You have no idea.'

**(DAC)**

**6 Months Later…**

"_Catena Fulmen!"_ A bright bolt of lightning shot out of one of Harry's wands, connecting with a combat dummy. After hitting it, it jumped to the next dummy, continuing until all ten dummies were destroyed.

"Chain lightning is a success. Shit, I fucking love my elemental powers." Harry walked out of the gym, his Nundu cub following him.

The white Nundu had grown to over two feet in height, and 5 feet in length, and wasn't even close to full grown. He had learned a few simple words; enough to make up his name, Kashmir. The cub followed Harry virtually everywhere he went, and Harry had learned to enjoy his presence and occasional comment. However, Harry was about to go on his morning run, and Muggles didn't appreciate seeing a giant cat running after a child. Something about the cat's teeth being large enough to rip his arm off, but hey, everything was a matter of perspective.

After Narcissa had woken up, Harry enlisted in Bellatrix's help to explain the situation. It was a lot less work on his part, and both sisters ended up trusting him even more, which is always a bonus for followers.

He had grown another two inches, putting him at five foot four, a very respectable height for a ten year old. He would be attending Hogwarts along with Tonks in about six months, and he planned to spend that time learning everything he could before his education was stunted.

Bellatrix and Narcissa had been teaching him Necromancy, something that the Blacks were infamous for. Harry was extremely frustrated on that aspect; it was the only subject he couldn't pick up quickly. He still hadn't spoken to any dead souls, and his dream of summoning a demon was still years away. The Black sisters, however, were shocked by his progress. It took most people decades just to get to the level Harry hoped to achieve, and Harry was well on his way to being a master within five years.

The sisters had been upset that their sister Andromeda was killed, and her death still remained a mystery. Harry didn't know if Dumbledore had done it, or if it was just a random murder. Tonks wasn't very sorry that her parents were dead, apparently they had been negligent parents anyway, and didn't care for their daughter anyway.

As Harry ran by an alley that was on his ten mile route, he was stopped by a petty thief holding, who said rather unoriginally, "Stop and empty your pockets, and no one gets hurt."

Harry rolled his eyes and got into a stance with his hands slightly in front of him, one foot in front of the other. The thief attacked with his knife, and Harry knocked the arm away, and responded with a flurry of punches, culminating with a kick that sent the man back ten feet.

Harry had been learning a rather unappreciated Chinese martial arts form called Wing Chun, an extremely fast style that relied on defense and counters as opposed to brutal strength. This was the only martial art form that Harry had taken to, and was being trained by a Chinese grandmaster named Donnie Yen.

Tonks had also tried to learn the forms, but she lacked the physical strength to block more than a few punches. She had increased in leaps and bounds magically, however. Though she couldn't hold a candle to Harry, she was pretty impressive for a nine year old girl. She specialized in borderline dark spells that caused enough pain to severely incapacitate an opponent, but not kill them.

She had a small rivalry with her two aunts, as all three were vying for Harry's affections. All of their attempts were noticed by the boy, who along with his father found their efforts extremely amusing..

Mr. Page was doing pretty much the same, he still couldn't figure out the instrument that he found in Harry's vault, and gave up, leaving it to Harry to figure out. Harry had taken it to the music shop Mr. Page always went to, but they had no idea what it was, so Harry just kept it as a side project.

As he finished his run, Tonks met him at the door. "You've gotten really fast. You just ran ten miles in less than an hour and a half."

"You know me; I'm fucking awesome at everything." He eyed her body mischievously. Tonks was very cute, and though nothing compared to her amazingly hot aunts, she would probably be way prettier once she developed. "Let's go inside, I'm hungry."

Sirius was inside waiting for him. The man had forgiven his cousins, and had even started teaching them along with Harry the animagus transformation. Bellatrix and Narcissa hadn't found their forms, and Harry already knew that he was a Siberian Frost Dragon, the rarest dragon in existence, as they were highly poached for their indestructible hide. Harry was a bit disappointed in his form, because it wasn't very powerful, but decided that it didn't matter, as he was powerful enough without his animagus.

Sirius greeted him, "Hey Harry. When you gonna fuck my cousins?"

The three female Blacks blushed, but Harry just laughed. "In a couple of years, I'll record it for you."

The older man blushed, as he thought of that image, which of course made Harry laugh harder.

**(DAC)**

"FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!" An old man with a long white beard and spectacles was pacing around his office yet again. He had just learned from McGonagall that Harry Potter hadn't shown up on the Hogwarts registration list. "How am I supposed to make the boy my pawn if I don't have access to him? I NEEEEED TO MANIPULATE THAT BOY!"

It had gotten to the point that the boy was like crack to the aging headmaster, and without him Dumbledore was going through major withdrawals. His left eye began twitching and he mumbled to himself quietly and incoherently. Of course, he didn't think to look for any last name other than Potter, otherwise he would have seen a Harry Page right where Harry Potter should have been.

Miles away in Nurmengard, Gellert Grindewald fought a sudden urge to face palm.

**(DAC)**

Harry's forehead was knotted with concentration. He drew as circle of runes with a piece of chalk and infused his magic with it. This was by far the most potent ritual he had ever done, and if he failed, he would probably blow up half of England. Even if he succeeded, he would be drained for weeks, unable to move a muscle. At least, that was the theory. Only one other person had ever performed this ritual in the history of the world, and that was Salazar Slytherin.

The rewards were well worth the risk. Everything that was important- magical reserves, his senses, his stamina, everything would be increased by at least 300%. The reason it was so dangerous was that he would have to pour out every ounce of magical power in his body in order for it to work, and Harry had a _lot _of reserves.

He was basically going to try to control enough magic to make a hundred nuclear bombs look like a little sparkler. He finished the runes and started meditating, clearing his mind of absolutely everything, until he found his core.

He dispersed it throughout his body, just as Slytherin's notes instructed, and concentrated. Forcing his eyes open, which were glowing with power, he released everything he had in one forceful push.

**(DAC)**

Lieutenant Colonel Jason Birdsey was in the Royal Air Force, but he was stuck with radar duty. Basically, he was the look out, in case any terrorists decided to blow something up. He was, err, busy jacking off to some internet porn when something caught his attention. The radar screen went out, as did every electrical device in the room (except his battery powered laptop) until the backup generators kicked in.

Almost immediately his superior, General John Rutherford burst in the room, catching his watchman in a very compromising position. His question died on his lips as he glared at the Lieutenant Colonel with a disgusted expression.

"Do I even need to say anything?" asked the general, shouting over the moans and groans of the couple on the computer.

"No sir. I'll leave with a dishonorable discharge, sir."

**(DAC)**

Civilians from all over Europe and North Africa suddenly stopped as a flash of green light spread across the sky. In London, all of the cars stopped in the street as a beam of emerald light shot into the sky.

One particularly religiously devout woman shouted, "IT'S THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST! WE'RE ALL SAVED!"

Cheers went up all over the city as the word spread. The next day, newspapers all over the world had the same headlines: **MESSIAH HAS COME! SATAN HAS BEEN VANQUISHED! **All Asian people in the world shook their heads at the stupidity of the white man.

**(DAC)**

Harry, on the other hand, was a little preoccupied to realize the effects of his ritual. "GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, IT HURTS LIKE HELLLLL!" Harry was writhing on the floor, screaming his ass off. The journals had said it would be painful, but Harry was totally unprepared for the reality. Even his impressive pain tolerance was swept aside like a stick in a raging flood.

He had a long few weeks ahead of him.

**(DAC)**

**Yeah, I know, short chapter. This was basically a filler, because next chapter he'll go to Hogwarts. I'm torn between making Harry a total badass from the beginning of Hogwarts, or to play it subtle so he can totally scare the shit out of everyone when he comes out of his shell. Just imagine the looks on everybody's faces when he goes from a kid struggling with a levitation charm to being more powerful than everyone in the world. **

**However, I don't feel like writing a weak Harry, so there's my dilemma. Anyway, Susake chose Daphne to be in the harem, so I'm going to make a new poll, so everybody who voted, get ready to vote again. **

**Alright, that's it. Sorry the chapter was slow, but I hope I added enough humor at the end to satisfy your greedy little reader minds. No flames, constructive criticism, blah blah blah.**

**Oh yeah, I forgot to say that I don't own Harry Potter and all that shit. The only thing is, I do own Harry Potter. That's right, I'm J.K. Rowling, and nobody else can prove that I'm not, so suck on it. I'm out.**


End file.
